With the AID Delhi Birthday celebration coming up on 25th Jan I saw an opportunity for our children to performand showcase their abilities. I presented this last week to Asmina, Ishrat, Reena & Subi who after which have been clinging onto me everyday I met them to get them somebody to teach and prepare them for the performance. And, we did successfully manage to get a lady for teaching the children dance. One nice lady from Kritikal Solutions - Apoorva. Asmina even voiced to me that it was her 'tamanna' that she wore some lovely designed clothes and danced on a stage.
There was this sudden surge of popularity that Arun Sir was getting. Yesterday evening while walking all of them to their home the girls were hanging onto every bit of me as though they have found a piece of chocolate that they don't want to let go off. Each one now vying for one finger of mine to hang on to. Its been some time since I received such a lot of female attention but then this was different ;).
Then, Asmina, who was all blah-blah-blah about one too many stories of which I lost count and sync with for a while, made a startling statement which is even now buzzing in my head as fresh as then - "Arun Sir humare favorite Sir hai!!". And then as though in a chorus there was Ishrat, Reena, Kiran and others who agreed to it without a doubt.
Surprised!!! ... I was stunned!!! I have been coming regularly only for 3 weeks now (even though I have been part of Prayas for 2.5yrs now) and I don't even teach them. Before I went to sleep, I could not help but be confused about how to accept that as a compliment or innocent attempt at coaxing Arun Sir further.
While I was confused, I was trying to understand where was the root of this confsion. I noticed that in our daily lives we are all trying to compete, survive & diffrentiate. In this endeavor most of us unconsious of our own actions and thoughts questioning - 'Why should I help them/him/her?' or 'What is in it for me?'. I strongly feel, in this unending questioning, we are lost unable to help neither ourselves nor another. Most of us would have surely noticed that some children make statements like - 'Why should I give him my pencil/rubber/etc.?'.
I have not received this level of attention from the children in the past 2.5yrs of spending time with them. The attention the children was giving me had a very instinctive & natural nature about it. I had aligned with a dream they had and by being able to fulfil I was being given the special treatment. I personally feel the statement they made for me was not justified enough and have not counted it as an endorsement or compliment of any sort for the work I have done. Simply, because it was out of sheer instinct. It was not right.
Some of us would have surely received such attention because of some one thing we have been able to give them. Others would struggled to connect because they not been. And this then directly affects our efforts. Some burn out, others lose interest fast and quite a few others are lost in an unending attempt trying to find out what can they do.
I love the children anyway they are. My attachement to the service I am doing will be alive as long as I am able to deliver it to my fullest capability. But then after this episode I could not help but conclude that - We are all selfish, atleast instinctively. And I believe each of us volunteers should be aware of this instinctively selfish expression of love with anybody from a 1 year old to 18 year old to a 31 year old to a 60 year old and be detached from such emotional expressions and be attached more toward the service you can provide.
And my feeling is that if we are able to do this then we have some brighter days ahead. :)
God Bless All !!